How to Stop Ignoring Yourself & Start Trusting Your Own Voice (Burnout, Boundaries & Belief)

I told you the truth about listening vs. believing.

ICYMI:

I shared how I spent years ignoring myself. Dismissing my needs. Gaslighting my own gut feelings.

And how my body finally forced me to stop.

But here’s what I didn’t tell you:

Even after that wake-up call? I still didn’t know how to change. Not consistently.

Spurts and bouts of inspiration were great, but not long lasting.

Because breaking a lifelong pattern of self-doubt and self-abandonment?

That isn’t as simple as flipping a switch and saying, “Sayonara, toxic inner voice!”

So today, I want to talk about how we actually break the cycle.

How we go from overriding our own needs to actually believing in them, and taking action that isn’t doomed for failure.

Because this? This is the work we are doing inside “Fuck It, I’m In.”

Why It’s So Hard to Stop Ignoring Yourself

Let me say this loud and clear:

🚨 THIS ISN’T YOUR FAULT. 🚨

This is conditioning.

Whether it’s how you were raised, your culture, or society as a whole, we (women in particular) are taught to allow this. Normalize it even.

We are conditioned to:
✔️ Put ourselves last
✔️ Serve, accommodate, sacrifice
✔️ Wear our struggle like a badge of honour

But let me ask you something:

What is honourable about teaching our daughters (and our sons) that this is what they have to look forward to?

Because this? This isn’t living.

This is a systemic failure we ALLOW.

So how do we stop it?

1. We start talking about it. That’s what I bring to Unfiltered (My weekly live where we can connect, chat. And if you’re not ready to talk about it? That’s okay. I will, until you’re ready.)

But the big question is: How do we heal this?

2. We call it out. We say, this ends here, today. We tear it apart and we say, “enough”.

But how do we actually make it STICK? Because sparkly fresh journals, and a new meditation program alone ain’t gonna keep these well-oiled (AKA your conditioned behaviours) on track for long without some extra accountability.

3. The magic? Lies in tying it to something REAL, and wholly YOURS. Something that is just for you, something you can actually track and manage: We tie it to YOUR BRAND.

That’s where the magical one-two punch happens.

Because here’s the truth:

1. You can’t change what you won’t acknowledge.
2. But even if you DO acknowledge what isn’t working, you won’t stick with it, unless you have something to nourish—something that is wholly and entirely your own. Something that holds you accountable to its survival (while being able to clock out so you don’t burn out). <- We’re not creating a baby here, we’re birthing a dream. Specifically, YOURS.

Your brand IS: Something built on YOUR needs, YOUR identity, YOUR voice.

How We Actually Break the Pattern Inside “Fuck It, I’m In” (FI,II)

Inside the space of FI,II, we don’t just talk about change, we actually make it happen.

Here’s how we break the pattern together in February:

1️⃣ We’ll Tie This Back to Your Brand (Because It’s ALL Connected).

This is what it looks like:

Fuck It, I’m in is a year-long SYSTEM. Part 1 starts Monday, February 24th, 2025. (Miss it? No worries, there’s no RIGHT place or time to start. That’s the whole idea.)

But here’s what’s on tap for February 2025:

🚨 Pillar 1: CREATE (Session 1 – Vision & Identity) 🚨

Listening & Believing is the FOUNDATION of building a real brand. LEARN MORE HERE.

Why? Because:
1️⃣ You can’t build a brand pretending to BE someone else.
2️⃣ If you don’t claim your identity, the world will slap one on you.
3️⃣ Your brand should FEEL like you—not like a painful performance.

If you’re feelings oofs and aw-shits, this looks like these common fuck-ups & spirals 👇

🔥 The Chameleon Effect – Constantly tweaking based on what you THINK your people want vs. what feels RIGHT. (Beige mom brands, anyone?)
🔥 The Rebrand Spiral – Changing colours, fonts, logos, website, instead of getting clear on what you actually need. (I can feel your overwhelm across the room)
🔥 The “I Don’t Know Who I Am” Freeze – So scared of choosing the ‘wrong’ path, you choose nothing at all. (Gas. Breaks. Gas. Breaks. Guilt., anyone?)

This is why your brand is a reflection of your self-trust.

Because if you can’t listen to yourself here, in your own work—where else are you silencing yourself?

2️⃣ We’ll Call Out the Self-Abandonment Spiral (In Real Time).

✔️ Where are you dismissing yourself?
✔️ Where are you ignoring your needs?
✔️ Where are you gaslighting your own feelings?

You can’t change what you won’t acknowledge.

So in this session, we get honest as hell about the ways we’ve been betraying ourselves—so we can finally stop the cycle.

3️⃣ We’ll Learn How to Listen & Actually Believe Ourselves.

Because here’s the truth:
You already know what you need.
You already know what’s not working.

The problem isn’t that you don’t know—
It’s that you don’t trust yourself enough to act on it.

So inside Fuck It, I’m In, we practice:
✔️ Hearing our own voice—without second-guessing.
✔️ Validating our own feelings—without external permission.
✔️ Deciding what we actually want—and owning it.

Because the moment you believe yourself?
Everything shifts.

4️⃣ We’ll Take Action—Before Our Body Forces Us To.

Most people wait until they’re at a breaking point before they finally make a change.

Not here.

Inside this space, we take action before we hit the wall.

We make bold moves, set real boundaries, and start showing up in ways that actually serve us.

Not in six months.
Not after “things settle down.”
Now. (Donate whatever, join. Simple. No excuses.)

Because if you don’t claim your life?
Your body will claim it for you.

And I promise, you don’t want to learn this lesson the hard way. And I don’t want you to, either.

Mel

Tell me: 🔥 Does this sound like you?
Have you ever ignored yourself so long that your body forced you to listen?

Drop a comment—I want to hear your story.